How to Reduce Stress: Practical Ways to Manage Stress and Feel Calmer
Stress is a normal part of life. A certain amount can even be useful, helping you focus, respond quickly and deal with demanding situations.
The problem comes when stress stops being temporary.
You may find that you're constantly thinking about what needs to be done, worrying about things that wouldn't normally bother you or struggling to switch off even when you have the opportunity to relax. Sleep can suffer, patience becomes shorter and your body may begin to feel as though it's permanently on alert.
As a UK clinical hypnotherapist, counsellor and psychotherapist with more than 25 years' experience, I've worked with many people who have reached this point. Often there hasn't been one major event. Work, family responsibilities, financial worries, relationship difficulties, poor sleep and the everyday pressures of life have simply accumulated.
The good news is that there are practical ways to reduce stress. You don't need to eliminate every source of pressure from your life. Often, stress management begins with recognising what's happening and finding ways to give your mind and body regular opportunities to settle.
If switching off is particularly difficult for you, I've also created a Stress Relief & Management Self-Hypnosis MP3 Bundle. It includes a 54-minute guided recording and companion eBook and costs £9.95. You can Find out more HERE
What Is Stress?
Stress is your body's response to pressure or perceived threat.
When you face something demanding, your body prepares you to respond. Your heart may beat faster, your breathing can change and you may feel more alert. In the short term, this response can be useful.
Once the situation has passed, your body would normally begin to settle again.
The difficulty is that modern stress doesn't always have a clear beginning and end. An overflowing inbox, money worries, caring responsibilities, relationship problems or lying awake thinking about tomorrow can keep the sense of pressure going for hours, days or much longer.
You may not even realise how stressed you've become because feeling tense has gradually started to feel normal.
How Do You Know When Stress Is Becoming a Problem?
Stress affects people differently, but there are some common signs.
You might notice:
Difficulty concentrating or making decisions
Irritability or becoming impatient more easily
Feeling restless or unable to switch off
Problems sleeping
Headaches or muscular tension
Digestive discomfort
Feeling overwhelmed by relatively small problems
Constant worrying or overthinking
Feeling tired but still unable to relax
Losing interest in things you normally enjoy
Sometimes other people notice the change before you do.
You might find yourself snapping at your partner, avoiding social plans because everything feels like too much effort or sitting down at the end of the day only to realise that your shoulders are still tense and your mind is racing.
I've written separately about what happens to your body when you are stressed if you'd like to understand the physical side of stress in more detail.
How Can You Reduce Stress?
When people ask how to reduce stress, they often expect there to be one particularly effective technique.
In reality, stress management is usually about several small changes working together.
Some help you calm down when stress is happening. Others reduce the amount of unnecessary pressure you're carrying in the first place.
Here are some of the approaches I recommend considering.
1. Deal With What's Actually Causing the Stress
Relaxation techniques can be extremely useful, but they shouldn't become a way of tolerating situations that could reasonably be changed.
Ask yourself:
What is actually making me stressed?
Sometimes the answer is obvious. At other times, stress has become such a general feeling that it's difficult to identify where most of the pressure is coming from.
It can help to write down the things currently taking up space in your mind.
Then divide them into three groups:
Things I can do something about
Things I may be able to influence
Things I cannot control
This simple distinction can be surprisingly useful.
If you're overwhelmed by too many commitments, for example, another relaxation exercise may help you feel calmer temporarily, but learning to say no occasionally could make a much greater difference.
If the problem is something you cannot control, your attention can instead move towards how you respond to it.
Stress management isn't only about becoming better at relaxing. Sometimes it's about changing what needs to change.
2. Use Your Breathing to Slow Things Down
Your breathing often changes when you're stressed. It can become quicker and shallower without you consciously noticing.
Deliberately slowing your breathing gives you something simple to focus on and can help you begin to settle.
Try breathing in gently through your nose, then allowing the out-breath to be slightly longer and slower.
You don't need to force enormous breaths or become preoccupied with counting perfectly. The aim is simply to breathe comfortably and slowly for a minute or two while allowing some of the physical tension to ease.
You can do this almost anywhere — sitting at your desk, before an important conversation, while waiting for an appointment or when you get into bed.
If you'd like some more structured exercises, I have a separate guide covering four breathing techniques for stress relief.
3. Give Your Mind a Break From Constant Stimulation
Many of us rarely experience genuine mental downtime.
We finish work and look at our phones. We watch television while checking messages. We take a walk while listening to something. Even when we're resting, our attention is being pulled from one thing to another.
If your mind already feels overloaded, more stimulation isn't necessarily what it needs.
Try creating small periods during the day when nothing is demanding your attention.
That could mean drinking a cup of tea without looking at your phone, sitting quietly for five minutes, taking a walk without headphones or simply looking out of the window.
It doesn't sound particularly dramatic, but stress relief doesn't always need to be.
Giving yourself permission to do nothing for a few minutes can be valuable when you're accustomed to being permanently occupied.
4. Try Mindfulness Rather Than Fighting Your Thoughts
Stress and overthinking often feed each other.
Something worries you, so you think about it. The more you think about it, the more stressed you become. Feeling stressed then makes the problem seem even more important, so you think about it again.
Mindfulness can help interrupt that cycle.
You don't need to empty your mind or stop thoughts appearing. Instead, practise noticing what is happening without immediately following every thought.
You might sit quietly and focus on your breathing for a few minutes. When your attention wanders, simply notice it and return your attention to your breath.
You can also practise mindfulness during ordinary activities. Notice the sensation of your feet touching the ground while you're walking, the warmth of the water in the shower or the taste of your food rather than eating while distracted.
These moments bring your attention back to what is happening now rather than continually rehearsing what has happened or what might happen next.
You can read more in my guide to mindfulness.
5. Move Your Body
Stress isn't experienced only in your thoughts.
You may notice it in tight shoulders, a clenched jaw, restless legs or the feeling that you simply cannot settle.
Movement can provide a useful change of state.
That doesn't mean you need an exhausting workout. A walk, gentle stretching, gardening, yoga, swimming or another form of movement you enjoy can all give you a break from whatever has been occupying your mind.
If you've spent hours sitting at a computer while dealing with a stressful day, even ten minutes outside can create a useful separation between one part of your day and the next.
The best activity is usually one you're actually willing to do regularly.
6. Look at the Way You're Talking to Yourself
Stressful situations are difficult enough without adding another layer of pressure through your own thoughts.
Consider the difference between:
"I've got a lot to do today."
and:
"I'll never get all this done. I'm completely overwhelmed."
The workload may be exactly the same, but the second thought adds a prediction of failure.
This doesn't mean pretending everything is wonderful or forcing yourself to think positively.
Instead, aim for something more balanced.
"There is a lot to do, so I'll decide what matters most and start with that."
Or:
"I don't know how this situation will turn out, but worrying about every possible outcome isn't helping me deal with what I can do today."
If this is something you struggle with, my article on how to stop negative thinking and develop a more positive mindset looks at this in much more detail.
7. Stop Treating Everything as Equally Urgent
When you're stressed, everything can begin to feel important.
It isn't.
One of the simplest stress management techniques is to decide what genuinely needs your attention today and what can wait.
Rather than carrying ten unfinished jobs around in your head, write them down and choose your priorities.
You may also need to look at how much you're expecting of yourself.
Could somebody else do one of those jobs?
Could something wait until tomorrow?
Does it actually need doing at all?
And could you say no to something rather than automatically agreeing to it?
Reducing stress isn't always about learning another coping technique. Sometimes it's about reducing unnecessary demands.
8. Protect Your Sleep
Stress can interfere with sleep, and poor sleep can make an already stressful situation feel much harder to manage.
If you're struggling to switch off at night, try creating a clearer transition between daytime and bedtime.
You might:
Keep roughly consistent sleeping and waking times
Reduce stimulating activities close to bedtime
Write down tomorrow's tasks rather than rehearsing them in bed
Create a simple wind-down routine
Keep work out of the bedroom where possible
Use relaxation, meditation or self-hypnosis as part of your evening routine
If something is worrying you, writing it down along with anything you intend to do about it tomorrow can sometimes make it easier to put it aside for the night.
You don't have to solve tomorrow's problems at two o'clock in the morning.
9. Make Time for Things That Aren't Productive
One of the patterns I often see in people experiencing prolonged stress is that enjoyable activities gradually disappear.
Everything becomes about what needs doing.
Work. Cleaning. Shopping. Caring for other people. Answering emails. Paying bills. Getting through the list.
Activities that have no obvious productive purpose can start to feel like a luxury.
They aren't.
Seeing friends, gardening, reading, listening to music, walking the dog, doing something creative or simply sitting somewhere pleasant can all provide psychological breathing space.
You don't have to earn the right to relax by finishing everything first. There will nearly always be something else that could be done.
10. Talk to Someone
Stress often becomes harder when you're carrying everything alone.
Talking to somebody you trust doesn't necessarily solve the problem, but saying things aloud can help you organise your thoughts and gain perspective.
You may realise that you've been expecting too much of yourself. Someone else may see an option you hadn't considered. Or it may simply feel good to be heard.
If stress is persistent, overwhelming or significantly affecting your daily life, consider speaking to your GP or an appropriate mental health professional. Symptoms that appear to be caused by stress can sometimes have other causes, so persistent or concerning physical symptoms shouldn't simply be assumed to be stress.
Can Self-Hypnosis Help With Stress?
Self-hypnosis is another option for people who find it difficult to relax or switch off.
Hypnosis isn't unconsciousness and it doesn't mean losing control. You remain aware of what is happening and can stop whenever you wish.
During a self-hypnosis session, attention is guided away from everyday distractions and towards relaxation, imagery and constructive suggestions.
For somebody experiencing stress, this can provide an opportunity to practise releasing physical tension, slowing racing thoughts and imagining responding more calmly to situations that normally feel overwhelming.
After more than 25 years working as a clinical hypnotherapist, I don't see hypnosis as something that magically removes stress from your life. The stressful meeting still needs to happen. The bills still need paying. Difficult people don't suddenly become easy.
What can change is the way you respond.
Learning to recognise tension earlier, allowing yourself to relax and mentally rehearsing a calmer response can become part of a broader approach to managing stress.
Stress Relief & Management Self-Hypnosis MP3 Bundle
I created my Stress Relief & Management Self-Hypnosis MP3 Bundle for people who find that everyday pressure follows them around and makes it difficult to properly switch off.
It includes a 54-minute guided self-hypnosis recording plus a companion eBook containing additional information and practical exercises.
You can listen in your own time, at home, whenever you want to set aside some uninterrupted time to relax.
The complete bundle costs £9.95 and is available as a digital download, so you can start listening straight away.
How Do You Make Stress Management Part of Everyday Life?
You don't need to do everything in this article.
In fact, turning stress management into another enormous list of things you should be doing rather defeats the purpose.
Choose one or two changes that seem realistic.
Perhaps you'll take a ten-minute walk at lunchtime. Maybe you'll stop checking work emails in the evening. You might practise slow breathing when you notice yourself becoming tense or listen to a relaxation recording several times a week.
Small changes are much easier to maintain than an ambitious plan that lasts three days.
It's also worth noticing what works for you.
One person may find walking enormously helpful. Another may prefer quiet relaxation. Someone else might discover that the biggest improvement comes from finally saying no to commitments they didn't have time for in the first place.
Effective stress management isn't about following somebody else's perfect routine. It's about understanding your own sources of stress and finding realistic ways to respond to them.
How Long Does It Take to Feel Less Stressed?
There isn't one answer because it depends on what's causing your stress and how long it has been going on.
A few minutes of slow breathing or a quiet walk may help you feel calmer in the moment. Other changes — improving sleep, establishing boundaries, changing habits or dealing with an ongoing source of pressure — may take longer.
Rather than continually asking yourself whether your stress has disappeared, look for smaller signs of progress.
Perhaps you're sleeping a little better. You recover more quickly after a difficult day. You notice tension before it becomes overwhelming. You're saying no more often. Or something that would once have occupied your thoughts all evening now feels easier to put aside.
Those changes matter.
Frequently Asked Questions About Stress Management
What is the quickest way to relieve stress?
If you need to calm down in the moment, slowing your breathing, stepping away from the stressful situation if possible and focusing your attention on something immediate can help. Even a brief walk or a few quiet minutes may give your mind and body an opportunity to settle.
What are some good stress management techniques?
Useful approaches include relaxation and breathing exercises, regular movement, mindfulness, protecting your sleep, challenging unnecessarily stressful thoughts, setting boundaries and dealing with practical sources of pressure where possible. Different techniques work for different people, so it can help to experiment.
How can I reduce stress naturally?
Start by identifying what is causing the most pressure. Combine practical changes with regular opportunities to relax, move your body, sleep well and take breaks from constant stimulation. Natural stress relief doesn't have to involve complicated techniques; simple changes practised consistently can be valuable.
Can self-hypnosis help with stress management?
Self-hypnosis can provide structured time for relaxation and focused attention. During a session you can practise releasing tension and mentally rehearsing calmer responses to stressful situations. I generally see it as one part of a wider approach rather than a replacement for dealing with the causes of stress.
How often should I practise stress-relief techniques?
Regular short periods are often easier to maintain than waiting until you're extremely stressed. Some techniques, such as slower breathing, can be used whenever you notice tension rising. Others, including meditation, exercise or self-hypnosis, can be incorporated into your normal week.
What's the difference between meditation and self-hypnosis for stress?
There is some overlap because both can involve focused attention and relaxation. Meditation commonly involves observing thoughts, sensations or breathing without becoming caught up in them. Self-hypnosis usually includes guided imagery or suggestions directed towards a particular aim, such as relaxation or responding more calmly to pressure.
Final Thoughts
You probably can't remove every source of stress from your life, and that shouldn't be the goal.
What you can do is become better at recognising when pressure is building, dealing with the things you can change and giving yourself regular opportunities to recover.
Sometimes that means breathing more slowly or taking a walk. Sometimes it means challenging the way you're thinking about a problem. And sometimes the most useful form of stress management is saying no, asking for help or changing something that has been putting you under unnecessary pressure.
Start small.
Choose one thing from this article that feels realistic and try it. Once that becomes familiar, you can add something else.
And if you'd like some guided help switching off and relaxing, you can find out more about my Stress Relief & Management Self-Hypnosis MP3 Bundle here.
Sharon ShinwellUK Clinical Hypnotherapist, Counsellor, Psychotherapist & Clinical SupervisorMore than 25 years' professional experience
