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Anger Management: Techniques for Controlling Your Temper

Updated: Aug 31, 2023


A couple arguing

Are you grappling with feelings of anger? Are these intense emotions causing disruptions in your life, affecting not only you but also those around you?


Within this article, we will will look at methods to help you in regaining control of your life. By using these techniques, you can foster a calmer existence for yourself and those who share in your experiences.


Anger management include several methods that aid individuals in understanding and effectively managing their anger-related feelings. These techniques contribute to a clearer understanding of where the anger is coming from, resulting in the development of healthier channels for the expression of emotions.


Remember, the process of anger management takes time, particularly if this emotional pattern has persisted over an extended period. Patience is a virtue in this journey, as the eventual benefits are well worth the effort.


Here are several of insights, and we understand that this may seem like a lot to absorb. Be assured, however, that these suggestions are not presented in a rigid sequence. Feel free to look through them, selecting those that resonate with you at this point.

Deep Breathing


Learning deep breathing techniques is most effective for controlling anger and can help to calm the body and mind, and is often used as a tool for helping people manage stress and anxiety as well as anger.



Relaxation Techniques

A woman meditating

Relaxation methods include a range of approaches designed to aid individuals in soothing both their bodies and minds. These practices aim to alleviate feelings of tension, unease, and frustration. Some widely-used relaxation methods include gradual muscle relaxation, guided mental imagery, and mindful meditation.


Gradual muscle relaxation involves the deliberate tensing and loosening of distinct muscle groups throughout the body, starting from the feet and progressing upwards towards the head. This technique can effectively facilitate the release of bodily strain and reduction of stress.


Guided Meditation calls for imagining a peaceful and tranquil scene or situation in the mind's eye. By meticulously concentrating on this situation, a profound sensation of relaxation can be achieved


Mindful meditation involves lying or sitting and focusing on one's breath, a chosen phrase, or the repetition of a specific word. This mental engagement aids in quieting the mind and achieving a state of stillness.


These relaxation practices are adaptable and can be practiced anywhere or at any time. They offer a valuable resource for handling intense emotions such as anger. By identifying the most suitable method for you and practicing these regularly, you will gain the most advantage from using them.


Sharon Shinwell has recorded a session for Guided Meditation and Relaxation


Cognitive Restructuring.


Diagram explaining cognitive restructuring

Understanding cognitive restructuring might seem complex, yet it's surprisingly straightforward to implement.


Cognitive restructuring stands as a technique used in cognitive-behavioral therapy. It involves recognizing and confronting negative or irrational thoughts that might be fueling feelings of anger. This process enables individuals to reconfigure their thought patterns and approach challenging scenarios with a more optimistic and effective mindset.


Participating oincognitive restructuring entails several steps. Begin by identifying the negative thoughts around your anger. These could be notions such as "I can't tolerate his actions" or "She consistently infuriates me." Once you've pinpointed these thoughts, question them. Delve into their authenticity and usefulness.


For instance, consider queries like: Is it an absolute truth that I can't tolerate his actions? Can I find any reason for this belief? Could there be a more even-handed and practical way of viewing the situation?


Once you've taken on these negative thoughts head-on, aim to reframe them positively and constructively. Swap out the sentiment of "I can't tolerate his actions" with "I don't favor his actions, but I can manage and discover ways to cope." This tactic aids in curbing anger and grants you the capacity to respond calmly and effectively to the circumstances.


Using Visualisation for Anger Management


A scene for visualisation for anger management

Visualization stands as a valuable strategy within anger management, aiding individuals in understanding and steering their emotions. The core concept underpinning anger management visualization involves forming mental scenarios that facilitate emotional balance and perspective during moments of anger.


Consider this instance: an individual might imagine the imagery of a serene location, perhaps a tranquil beach or a quiet forest. In this mental creation, they immerse themselves, experiencing a sensation of relaxation and tranquility. This approach effectively redirects their focus away from anger, guiding it towards a more serene and uplifting mental state.


Alternatively, one could visualize the act of releasing anger. This involves picturing the anger as a tangible entity that can be consciously released or set free. This technique serves to reduce the intensity of the anger, thereby making it more manageable.


On the whole, visualization is a practical tool for anger management. By harnessing this technique, individuals gain control over their thoughts and emotions, unearthing deeper insights into the origins of their anger.


Problem Solving Skills


A man thinking about problem solving

Working out how to solve problems is like finding ways to make improvements. This is a another helpful tool for anger management because it helps us work out out why we're angry and fix the real reasons, and not just get upset

.

Here is how to practice Problem Solving Skills:

  1. Visualise the problem: Find out why you're angry. This might mean looking at where the anger came from and separating how you feel.

  2. Think of ideas: Once you have identified the problem, think of some ways to make it better. They don't have to be perfect, they just need thinking about.

  3. Choose the best idea: Look at your thoughts and consider which might work best. Think about their simplicity, what good things might happen, what problems might arise, and if they match what you think.

  4. Act on the idea: Pick the best one and make a method to implement it. This could mean doing it step by step and setting goals.

  5. Check what happened: After your plan, see if it worked. If not, think about what went wrong and try something else.

Learning these positive problem-solving methods can help you deal with anger in a better way. Remember, problem-solving takes time and trying different things before finding the best way for you.


Change of environment to Manage Anger

A man walking away from a situation that is causing him to be angry

You can improve your environment for dealing with anger by walking away from the situation that's making you angry. You might leave the situation, go for a walk, or do something else to take your mind off it.


Also, it's good to be around people who support you and help you deal with anger. They can make a positive difference.


Physical release of Anger

A man using a punching bag to vent anger

Anger is a normal and healthy emotion, but it is important to learn how to express it in a healthy and positive way. One way to do this is through exercise that can help release anger in a safe and controlled way.

This could include exercises like punching a boxing bag, going for a run or a hike, or playing a team sport.

Time out for Anger

An hourglass for taking a time out.

Taking a "time out" for anger is a short period of time during which you would remove yourself from a situation that is causing you to feel angry, in order to calm down and regain perspective. This can be an effective way to deal with feelings of anger, and can prevent us from reacting in an angry or aggressive way that we may later regret.


To take a time out for anger, find a peaceful and comfortable place where you can be alone. This could be another room, an outside space, or anywhere else so you can to be away from the situation that is causing the anger Take some deep breaths, and focus on calming down your body and mind. You may want to try the relaxation technique previously explained, like the progressive muscle relaxation or guided imagery.


Let yourself to feel your anger, but but don't let it take you over. Remind yourself that it's okay to feel angry, but that it's important to find a healthy and productive way to vent and manage that anger.


Once you are back in control, you can return to the situation and try to address it in a more rational and assertive way. It's important to remember that taking a time out for anger is not a way of avoiding or denying your feelings, but rather a way of taking care of yourself and managing your emotions in a healthy way.


Journaling

Journaling a good way to manage anger

Journaling can be an effective method of managing anger. When you're feeling angry, putting down your thoughts and feelings can help you process and release them in a healthy way. It can also provide a sense of perspective and clarity, allowing you to better understand the reasons behind your anger and come up with solutions to address the underlying issues.


Rather than go into the techniques of journaling here. Please go to our separate post where this is delved into much more deeply.


Bear in mind that journaling for anger management is not about suppressing or denying your feelings but about finding healthy ways to express and deal with them. It can take time and practice to develop effective strategies, but with persistence and effort, you can learn to manage your anger in a healthy and productive way.


Vocal release of Anger

A woman using vocal release to manage her anger

Voice release anger is when someone shows their anger by yelling, shouting, or making noise. Many of people do this to let go of their frustration, and it can work well to release built-up feelings. But it's smart to think about what could happen if you show anger this way. It might hurt relationships or start fights. It could be good to find better ways to handle anger, like talking to a therapist or doing things that relax your mind and lessen stress.


Communication Skills

People learning communication skills.

Good communication skills matter for handling strong emotions like anger. These skills help you talk about your feelings and needs clearly, without getting angry or aggresive.

Here are some important communication skills for managing anger:

  1. Use "I" statements: Instead of blaming or attacking, say how you feel and what you need using "I" statements. For example, instead of saying "You always make me so mad," you might say "I feel angry when you do that, and I need you to stop." This can make the other person listen better and understand your side.

  2. Listen well: Pay attention to the other person and understand their thoughts without interrupting or getting defensive. This can lower misunderstandings and fights, and make them more likely to hear your side.

  3. Show without words: Watch how you move and talk, as these show more than your words. Use open and relaxed body language, and speak calmly and strongly.

These communication skills can cut down fights and make your relationships better. Practice them often to get the best results.


Does Self Hypnosis help with Anger Management?

A woman listening to a self hypnosis recording to manage her anger

Self-hypnosis is a technique in which a person uses relaxation and visualization techniques to enter a state of deep concentration and focus. They will be more open to suggestions or ideas. Many people may find that Self-Hypnosis can help them to manage their anger, as it can provide a feeling of calmness and control, and may help to change negative thought patterns that can cause feelings of anger.



Self-hypnosis is a personal and subjective experience, and what works for one person may not work for another. It's important to experiment and find a technique that works for you, and to practice regularly in order to see the greatest benefits.


Self Hypnosis and or Guided Meditation can be a great tool to help you to be more positive. ​We have a downloadable Self-Hypnosis session for Anger Management


All the sessions on our website are written and recorded by Sharon Shinwell.

Self-Hypnosis UK

Sharon is a UK qualified Clinical Hypnotherapist who has been helping people to improve their lives for over 20 years.

"This article represents the personal views and opinions of the author and should not be taken as representative of the official policy or position of any organization, professional, expert, or individual."



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