How to Deal With Anxiety: Practical Ways to Calm Your Mind
How to Deal With Anxiety: Practical Ways to Calm Your Mind
Anxiety can make even ordinary situations feel difficult.
You may find yourself worrying about things that haven't happened, imagining what could go wrong, feeling tense for no obvious reason or becoming trapped in thoughts that seem impossible to switch off.
And the harder you try to tell yourself to stop worrying, the more your mind seems determined to continue.
I'm Sharon Shinwell, a clinical hypnotherapist and psychotherapist, and I've been helping people with anxiety and related problems for more than 25 years.
One of the most important things I've learned is that overcoming anxiety isn't about never feeling anxious again. Anxiety is a normal human response. The aim is to stop anxiety taking control of your thoughts, decisions and everyday life.
There are practical things you can do to change that pattern.
What Does Anxiety Feel Like?
Anxiety doesn't only affect your thoughts. It can produce very real physical sensations.
You might experience:
A racing or pounding heart
Tightness in your chest
Shallow or rapid breathing
Butterflies or discomfort in your stomach
Shaking or trembling
Feeling hot, flushed or sweaty
Dizziness or light-headedness
Muscle tension
Difficulty sleeping
Feeling restless or unable to relax
Your thoughts may become equally uncomfortable.
You might repeatedly ask yourself “What if...?”, imagine worst-case scenarios, seek reassurance from other people or spend hours trying to solve problems that haven't actually happened.
The combination of anxious thoughts and physical sensations can create a cycle in which each makes the other stronger.
Why Do I Feel Anxious?
Sometimes the cause is obvious. You might be dealing with financial problems, relationship difficulties, work pressure, illness or a major change in your life.
At other times, anxiety seems to appear without a clear reason.
Your brain has a built-in threat system designed to protect you. When it detects possible danger, your body prepares to respond.
That's extremely useful when there really is an immediate threat.
The problem comes when the same alarm system begins responding to thoughts, possibilities and uncertainties as though they were dangers happening right now.
A thought such as “What if I lose my job?” can therefore produce a genuine physical anxiety response even though you're sitting safely at home.
Understanding this distinction is useful because feeling anxious doesn't necessarily mean you're in danger.
How to Deal With Anxiety
When anxiety strikes, the natural reaction is often to fight it.
You may tell yourself to stop worrying, try to force the thoughts away or desperately look for reassurance that everything will be okay.
Unfortunately, struggling with anxiety can sometimes make it stronger.
Instead, try changing how you respond to it.
1. Bring Yourself Back to What Is Happening Now
Anxiety tends to live in the future.
What if something goes wrong?
What if I can't cope?
What if this feeling gets worse?
When you notice this happening, bring your attention back to the present.
Look around you.
Notice what you can see, hear and physically feel.
Ask yourself:
“What is actually happening right now?”
You aren't trying to prove that nothing bad could ever happen. You're reminding your mind of the difference between something happening now and something you're imagining might happen later.
2. Slow Your Breathing
Anxiety can make your breathing faster and shallower, which may add to the physical sensations of anxiety.
Try allowing your breathing to become slower and more comfortable.
Don't force enormous breaths.
Simply breathe in gently and allow the out-breath to last a little longer.
Concentrating on a slow, comfortable rhythm can also give your attention something neutral to focus on instead of following every anxious thought.
3. Stop Treating Every Anxious Thought as a Fact
Anxiety is very good at producing convincing predictions.
I'll make a fool of myself.
Something bad is going to happen.
I won't be able to cope.
This feeling will never stop.
Rather than arguing with every thought, try identifying it for what it is.
“I'm having an anxious thought.”
There is an important difference between:
“Something terrible is going to happen.”
and:
“I'm having the thought that something terrible might happen.”
The second version gives you some distance from the prediction.
4. Separate Problems From Possibilities
If there is a real problem you can do something about, taking practical action can reduce anxiety.
But many anxious thoughts concern possibilities rather than current problems.
If you catch yourself repeatedly asking “What if...?”, ask:
“Is there something useful I can do about this now?”
If there is, decide what action to take.
If there isn't, continuing to think about it isn't necessarily solving anything.
Sometimes the most useful response is to allow uncertainty to exist without spending the next hour trying to eliminate it.
5. Reduce Reassurance Seeking
Asking someone for reassurance can make you feel better very quickly.
But if you repeatedly need someone else to tell you that everything will be okay, the relief may only last until the next anxious thought appears.
You can gradually practise reassuring yourself instead.
That doesn't mean never discussing genuine concerns with other people. It means noticing when reassurance has become part of the anxiety cycle.
Before asking someone else, give yourself a little time and see whether the anxious feeling begins to settle on its own.
6. Don't Let Anxiety Make Every Decision
Avoidance can provide immediate relief.
If something makes you anxious, not doing it means you don't have to experience the anxiety.
Unfortunately, repeated avoidance can also teach your mind:
“I was right to be frightened. I couldn't have coped.”
Your world can gradually become smaller.
Where it is safe and appropriate, taking manageable steps towards things you've been avoiding can help you discover that anxiety is uncomfortable but doesn't always need to dictate what you do.
The steps don't have to be enormous.
Small successes matter.
7. Give Worry Less of Your Day
Trying to ban worrying completely usually doesn't work.
Instead, notice how much time you're giving it.
If the same problem has been going around your mind for half an hour without producing a solution, another half an hour may not help.
You can acknowledge the thought and deliberately return your attention to whatever you were doing.
The thought may come back.
That's okay.
Each time, you have another opportunity to decide whether it deserves your attention.
8. Look After the Basics
Anxiety isn't purely psychological.
Lack of sleep, excessive caffeine, alcohol, inactivity and prolonged stress can all affect how you feel.
Regular movement, adequate sleep, eating regularly and allowing yourself periods of genuine relaxation won't solve every anxiety problem, but they can give your mind and body a better foundation from which to cope.
Don't aim for perfection.
Small changes that you can maintain are more useful than an unrealistic routine that lasts three days.
How to Calm Anxiety When It Feels Overwhelming
When anxiety suddenly becomes intense, don't try to solve your whole life while you're in the middle of it.
Bring the task down to the next few minutes.
Slow your breathing.
Put your feet firmly on the floor.
Notice your surroundings.
Remind yourself:
“This is anxiety. I don't have to solve everything right now.”
If possible, remain where you are long enough to notice that anxiety can rise and fall.
The aim isn't to demand instant calm. It's to stop adding another layer of fear to the anxiety you're already experiencing.
What About Panic Attacks?
A panic attack can produce an intense surge of fear accompanied by physical symptoms such as a racing heart, trembling, dizziness, breathlessness or a feeling that you're losing control.
Because panic attacks can feel frighteningly physical, people sometimes become anxious about having another one. This fear can itself become part of the cycle.
If panic attacks are a particular problem for you, I've covered them separately in my article on anxiety and panic attacks, where I look at the panic cycle and ways of responding to it.
What If I Worry All the Time?
For some people, anxiety isn't connected to one particular situation.
You may worry about work, money, family, health, relationships and everyday decisions, with one worry simply replacing another.
When anxiety becomes persistent and difficult to control, professional support can be particularly useful.
You don't have to wait until anxiety becomes unbearable before asking for help.
Can Self-Hypnosis Help With Anxiety?
Self-hypnosis can be useful because anxiety isn't only about what you consciously think.
You may logically understand that you're safe while your body still responds as though something is wrong.
Hypnosis uses focused attention and deep relaxation to help quieten some of that mental and physical activity. In a relaxed state, you can practise responding to anxious thoughts and situations in a calmer and more constructive way.
It isn't about losing control or being unconscious.
You remain aware and in control throughout.
For some people, regular self-hypnosis becomes a useful way of practising relaxation and reinforcing the calmer responses they're trying to develop in everyday life.
Self-Hypnosis Recordings for Anxiety
I've created self-hypnosis recordings for different types of anxiety because anxiety isn't the same for everyone.
Some people experience persistent general worry. Others struggle with panic, social situations, health anxiety or particular fears.
If you'd like additional help, you can explore my self-hypnosis recordings for anxiety, stress, fears and phobias and choose the recording most closely matched to the problem you're experiencing.
You can also find recordings specifically designed to help with stress and anxiety relief and anxiety and panic attacks.
Self-hypnosis doesn't replace appropriate medical or psychological care, but it can be used alongside other approaches as a practical way of developing relaxation and a calmer response to anxious thoughts.
When Should You Seek Professional Help for Anxiety?
Consider speaking to your GP or a qualified mental health professional if anxiety is persistent, becoming difficult to manage, interfering with work or relationships, causing significant avoidance, or having a substantial effect on your quality of life.
Seek urgent professional help if you feel unable to keep yourself safe.
Physical symptoms shouldn't automatically be assumed to be anxiety either. If you have new, severe or unexplained physical symptoms, seek appropriate medical advice.
You Don't Have to Get Rid of Every Anxious Feeling
A common goal is:
“I just want to get rid of my anxiety.”
It's understandable, but trying to eliminate every trace of anxiety can become another source of anxiety in itself.
A more useful goal is to become less frightened of the feeling and more confident in your ability to handle it.
You can notice an anxious thought without believing it.
You can experience uncertainty without immediately trying to eliminate it.
You can feel anxious and still decide what you do next.
And as those responses become more familiar, anxiety can gradually occupy less space in your life.
