How to Overcome a Fear of Spiders (Arachnophobia)
You see a spider and your reaction is immediate.
Your heart starts racing. You may freeze, move away as quickly as possible or call someone else to remove it. Even after the spider has gone, you might find yourself checking the room, wondering where another one could be hiding.
For some people, simply seeing a photograph of a spider is enough to trigger anxiety.
A fear of spiders is extremely common, but when the fear becomes intense enough to cause significant anxiety or avoidance, it's often referred to as arachnophobia.
As a clinical hypnotherapist, counsellor and psychotherapist with more than 25 years' experience, I've worked with many people whose logical mind tells them there is little to fear, while their automatic emotional response tells them something completely different.
That distinction is important, because overcoming a fear of spiders isn't simply a matter of telling yourself not to be frightened.
You need to help your mind and body learn a different response.
If you're looking for additional help with that process, I've created an Overcome Fear of Spiders Hypnosis MP3 specifically to help reduce the automatic fear response and develop greater calm and confidence around spiders. It's a professionally guided 24-minute audio session you can use privately at home.
Why Am I So Scared of Spiders?
People often find their own fear difficult to understand.
You may know perfectly well that the spider in the corner of your bedroom is unlikely to hurt you. You may even feel embarrassed by the intensity of your reaction.
But fear isn't always logical.
When your brain has learned to associate something with danger, the alarm response can happen before you've had time to think rationally about what you're seeing.
Your body prepares you to escape from a threat.
Your heart beats faster. Your muscles tense. Your attention becomes completely focused on the spider.
Then your conscious mind catches up.
This is why someone can genuinely believe I know it can't hurt me while simultaneously feeling an overwhelming urge to get out of the room.
What Causes Arachnophobia?
There isn't one single reason why people develop a fear of spiders.
Sometimes there is an obvious experience behind it. Perhaps you were frightened by a spider when you were young, had one unexpectedly crawl on you or saw someone else react with extreme fear.
Children can also learn fears by watching the reactions of adults around them.
But many people with arachnophobia can't remember any particular event that started it.
The important point is that you don't necessarily need to discover exactly why the fear began before you can start changing your response to it.
When Does a Normal Dislike of Spiders Become a Phobia?
You don't have to like spiders.
Plenty of people would rather not have one crawling across their pillow.
The question is how much the fear affects you.
You might:
panic or freeze when you see a spider
immediately leave the room
need someone else to remove spiders for you
repeatedly check rooms before settling down
avoid sheds, garages, lofts or other places where spiders might be
become particularly anxious during times of year when you notice more spiders indoors
struggle to sleep if you've seen a spider in the bedroom
avoid photographs, television programmes or conversations involving spiders
feel anxious simply thinking about encountering one
When fear begins changing what you do or making you feel uncomfortable in your own home, it has moved beyond simply not liking spiders.
Why Avoiding Spiders Can Make the Fear Stronger
Avoidance feels sensible when you're frightened.
You see a spider, leave the room and immediately feel better.
Your brain learns something from that experience:
I escaped, so I'm safe.
Unfortunately, it can also learn:
The spider really was dangerous. Leaving protected me.
The next encounter can therefore feel just as frightening — or sometimes more frightening.
This is one of the reasons phobias can persist for years.
Avoidance prevents your brain from discovering that you can experience some anxiety, remain safe and allow that anxiety to settle.
How to Overcome a Fear of Spiders
There isn't usually a magic moment when you suddenly decide never to be frightened again.
For many people, progress comes from gradually changing the response they have learned.
Start With a Manageable Level of Fear
You don't need to begin by holding a spider.
In fact, forcing yourself into an overwhelmingly frightening situation can be counterproductive.
Instead, think in terms of gradual steps.
One person's starting point might be saying the word spider without immediately changing the subject.
Someone else may be comfortable looking at a cartoon spider but not a photograph.
Another person may manage photographs but struggle when seeing a real spider from across the room.
The starting point should feel challenging enough to matter but manageable enough that you can stay with it.
Create a Fear Ladder
It can help to write down spider-related situations and rank them from least frightening to most frightening.
For example:
Thinking about a spider.
Looking at a simple drawing of one.
Looking at a photograph.
Watching a short video.
Seeing a small spider from a distance.
Remaining in the same room as a spider.
Moving a little closer while remaining calm.
Being able to deal with a spider appropriately yourself.
Your own list may look completely different.
The purpose isn't to rush towards the final step. It's to give yourself a series of achievable stages.
Give Your Anxiety Time to Come Down
If you approach something that frightens you and immediately escape as soon as anxiety rises, your brain doesn't get much opportunity to learn anything new.
Where it is safe and appropriate, try allowing yourself enough time for the initial surge of anxiety to begin settling.
You might notice:
I'm anxious, but I'm still okay.
Then:
My heart isn't beating quite as quickly.
And eventually:
I can be near this without feeling as frightened as I expected.
These experiences begin providing your brain with new information.
Don't Keep Checking How Frightened You Feel
When you're trying to overcome a phobia, it can be tempting to monitor yourself constantly.
Am I frightened?
Is my heart beating faster?
Is this working?
That keeps your attention focused on fear.
Instead, try noticing the whole situation.
Where are you?
What else can you see?
How are you breathing?
Can you allow the spider to be present without making it the only thing in your awareness?
The goal isn't to make yourself love spiders.
It's to make their presence less important.
Learn to Calm the Physical Fear Response
When your body is highly aroused, everything feels more threatening.
Practising relaxation away from the feared situation can therefore be useful.
Slow, comfortable breathing and consciously releasing tension from your shoulders, jaw, hands and stomach can help you recognise what a calmer physical state feels like.
Then, when you encounter a spider, you have something familiar to return to.
Try not to turn relaxation into another rule:
I must be completely calm before I can cope.
You can cope while experiencing some anxiety.
That is an important part of learning that fear doesn't have to control what you do.
Challenge the Thoughts That Keep the Fear Going
Arachnophobia can produce thoughts that are far more frightening than the actual situation.
It's going to jump on me.
It will crawl into my bed.
I won't be able to cope if it moves.
There must be more of them.
Rather than simply telling yourself don't be silly, look at the thought more objectively.
What do you actually know?
What are you predicting?
How often has the thing you're imagining really happened?
Could you cope even if you felt uncomfortable?
The aim isn't to convince yourself that nothing unexpected can ever happen.
It's to bring the perceived threat back into proportion.
Stop Expecting Yourself to Like Spiders
This is worth emphasising.
Overcoming arachnophobia doesn't mean becoming fascinated by spiders or wanting them crawling over you.
You can still prefer them to be outside.
Success might simply mean seeing a spider without panicking.
Being able to remain in the room.
Dealing with one without having to call somebody else.
Sleeping normally after seeing one in the bedroom.
Using your garage or shed without checking every corner first.
Those are meaningful changes.
What If You Panic When a Spider Suddenly Appears?
Unexpected encounters can be harder than planned practice because you haven't had time to prepare.
If you suddenly see a spider, try not to react immediately.
Pause if you can.
Let your breathing slow.
Feel your feet against the floor.
Remind yourself:
My alarm response has switched on. I don't have to obey it.
Give yourself a moment before deciding what you actually need to do.
Every time you respond with slightly less panic, you're practising a new pattern.
Can Self-Hypnosis Help With a Fear of Spiders?
This is an area where hypnosis can fit particularly naturally alongside gradual behavioural change.
A phobia involves an automatic response. You aren't consciously deciding to become frightened when you see a spider — the reaction seems to happen for you.
Self-hypnosis gives you an opportunity to practise a different response while you're physically relaxed and mentally focused.
Rather than repeatedly imagining yourself panicking, escaping or freezing, you can mentally rehearse encountering spiders while remaining calmer and more in control.
I created my Overcome Fear of Spiders Hypnosis MP3 specifically for this purpose.
The session uses guided relaxation, calming visualisation, therapeutic suggestion and gradual mental rehearsal. It also introduces the simple anchor phrase “I'm calm and I'm safe”, which becomes associated with the calmer response you're practising during the recording.
The aim isn't to force you into frightening situations. It's to help your mind begin associating spiders with a more proportionate response, at a pace that feels manageable.
When Should You Get Professional Help for Arachnophobia?
If your fear is severe, significantly restricts your life or causes intense distress, consider seeking professional support.
Talking therapies, particularly approaches involving gradual exposure, can be helpful for specific phobias.
You don't have to wait until a fear has taken over your life before asking for help.
You Don't Need to Love Spiders to Stop Fearing Them
If you've been frightened of spiders for years, it's easy to assume that this is simply how you'll always react.
But a fear response is something the brain can learn — and learned responses can change.
The goal isn't bravery.
It isn't forcing yourself to do something terrifying.
And it certainly isn't learning to love spiders.
It's gradually teaching your mind and body:
I can see this. I can feel some discomfort. I can remain in control.
Each calmer encounter provides another piece of evidence.
Over time, a spider can become less of an emergency and more of what it actually is:
Something you may not particularly like, but no longer need to fear.
